Friday, June 26, 2015

Bonus Post: Judaism and Homosexuality

I actually didn't have a post planned for the topic of homosexuality. However, since it was a topic that was extremely important for my transition away from Orthodox Judaism, I decided, in the wake of today's Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges that establishes the right for all couples, gay and straight, to be legally married across the United States, that I should probably make a post on the topic to share my thoughts on the issue. 

A Clear Prohibition

The position of the Torah on homosexual relations is very clear.  It does not mince words.  Amidst all the laws regarding improper sexual activities it states (Lev 18:22):
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination.
The prohibition is upheld throughout all strata of halachic law, up to and including today.  Homosexual relations are forbidden by Modern Orthodox (MO) Judaism and every branch to the right.

A Moral Quandary

The prohibition of homosexual relations led to a moral quandary that I wrestled with as I was struggling with Judaism.  Growing up, I had very limited associations with gay individuals.  It is possible that I did know several, but the repressive nature of the culture at that point in time made it unlikely that I knew who exactly was gay.  However, that changed when I enrolled in (a secular) university, and encountered individuals of varied cultures and backgrounds, individuals that have had a profound impact on the way my moral compass developed even though they are likely completely unaware of it!  Before we get to that, I should take a second to talk about how homosexuality was treated in my MO high school.

When the topic of homosexuality came up in various religious settings, a common argument was often proffered.  This argument is now completely out of vogue, for good reason.  It's almost insulting to write it down, but alas it is necessary.  Inevitably, the Rabbi discussing the topic would admit that a gay person will have same sex attraction that is completely out of their control.  I did not belong to the ultra-right wing, or the conservative Christian camp that viewed homosexuality as a choice.  No, they agreed that the gay person did not choose to be gay, it was who they were.  Then, they would inevitably compare a homosexual individual with either a pedophile or a rapist, another individual with sexual desires that they didn't choose.  They'll note that just as a pedophile is given an unfair struggle to overcome their unusually strong yetzer hara (evil inclination) on this matter, so should a gay person.

Of course in making the analogy they pass over a key difference.  Child molestation and rape is asymmetric.  You cannot act on pedophilic urges with a child in a way that is consensual.  A child cannot legally give consent, nor are they able to understand biologically what is going on.  One party, in this case the child, is invariably harmed by the encounter.  Rape is obviously in the same boat.  However, homosexual relations can be consensual between parties.  Neither party is harmed in any way.  In fact, it's certainly the case in many relationships that both parties benefit greatly from it.

The argument always stuck in my craw.  I accepted it at the time, because I wasn't offered anything else.  The Torah clearly forbids it.  Chazal (the ancient Rabbis) concur.  What other possible explanation can there be.  To date, there has never been any acceptable explanation for the prohibition of homosexuality that wasn't ground in religious reasoning.  I was grasping at straws for an explanation, and this was the offered straw.  It was a shitty straw.

As I alluded to before, when I got to college things changed.  It's easy to hold negative views of homosexuals when they are the "other," when they are people you don't know, some mythical creature.  However, once I made friends with several it was abundantly clear that the comparison between a gay individual to a rapist is patently absurd.  Not only that, I was able to witness the tangible harm that the religious prohibition of homosexual relations was having on real people.  People that were forced to deny who they were because otherwise they would be thrown out of their religious community.  I'll also note that the documentary "Trembling Before God" came out at this time.  The problems of the Jewish community and their treatment of homosexuality were actually being aired.

Homosexuality was not the only moral issue that I struggled with, but the Torah's prohibition of it lent credence to the hypothesis that it was a man-made document, and not a divine one.  It was impossible for me to imagine a deity who would make individuals gay and then forbid them on acting on it with no good reason available.  Such a deity would be purposefully cruel and not worth worship.  It was very possible for me to imagine multiple situations where men would prohibit that activity.  It's very easy for you to prohibit someone from engaging in something that you have absolutely no desire to do yourself.  I will talk more about some of the other moral issues later in the year.  It's probably good to move to today.

The Future Quandary

I read the OU's statement on today's supreme court decision.  It can be found here.  The following quote struck me:
[W]ill the laws implementing today’s ruling and other expansions of civil rights for LGBT Americans contain appropriate accommodations and exemptions for institutions and individuals who abide by religious teachings that limit their ability to support same-sex relationships?
That bold phrase made me stop and remember, and indeed it prompted me to write this post.  The way it's phrased makes it sound to me like they recognize that the prohibition against homosexuality is ridiculous, and possibly even morally wrong and harmful to individuals.  Yet, they can't do anything about it.  The Torah forbids it, their religion forbids it, they can't change it.

Perhaps I'm projecting.  I'm reading too much into this statement, because this was exactly how I felt almost 15 years ago when I was struggling with this.  All signs pointed to the prohibitions of homosexuality being morally wrong, yet what could I do about it? Nothing. Unless, of course, I wanted to leave Orthodoxy. 

I will actually go a step further and make a bold prediction.  MO Judaism is doomed.  It cannot survive.  The idea that religious Jews can participate in society and live Halachic lives will be impossible.  Why do I make this prediction?  The reason is that up until very recently, MO Judaism aligned well with the majority opinion on every key moral issue.  This included the public sentiment towards homosexuality.  Now, it conflicts.  This is the moral quandary that MO Judaism faces.  What can they do?  They could isolate themselves from society, that is one option.  They could abandon the halacha, that is another option.  But if they do neither, then they are forced to come to terms with the fact that the culture they want to be a part of considers their religion immoral.  That's a bitter pill to swallow, too bitter in fact.

My prediction might be wrong.  At this point in my life, I am watching from the sidelines.  I'm interested to what goes on, but as a spectator, not a participant.

In the meantime, I look forward to the fact that all my gay friends, both current and in the past, all those individuals who altered my worldview through their personal examples, will be free to marry in all corners of the country I live in.  Now that I am free from following Judaism, I can celebrate with them fully.

Note: Usually I proofread these posts before posting them.  I don't have time to proofread this one at the moment.  So I'm going to apologize for spelling/grammar errors in advance.

17 comments:

  1. Some who has the attitude of faith uber alles will nerver be convinced when scientific evidence contradicts their religious beliefs, but those who are on the fence regarding gender nonconformity should watch this excellent Charlie Rose episode: http://www.hulu.com/watch/807430

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  2. Typo :Why do i make this prediction, not prohibition

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  3. Btw your weekly posts are very insightful and informative. May i suggest after devarim you continue with nach, and then maybe midrash

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    1. I'm not sure about that for a couple reasons. First, I regularly use nach in these posts, a lot of the major topics that I would discuss, such as the treatment of priests in Shoftim/Shmuel, I've already looked at. I haven't been shy of quoting from Nach when necessary.

      Second, writing these posts take a lot of effort. I know the Torah far better than I know Nach, so it stands to reason that posts about Nach would take even more effort. I'm not willing to commit to that level of effort now.

      Third, I originally set out to do a one year project, and I'd like to see that complete before I think about what comes next. I still have about 9 posts in Devarim to write along with the conclusion post which will probably be split up into several days. That's my priority now.

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  4. @Kefirah - The issue of homosexuality in the Torah is complex. I will point out some Bible Scholars, for example Milgrom explain the Torah does not prohibit homosexuality universally. As I recall, he concludes only in Israel did the Torah intend to forbid it. He may have also concluded it only applied to Jews in Israel, but I can not remember.

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    1. I am aware of efforts to limit the Torah's prohibition on homosexuality, although I don't find these arguments very convincing, and they often appear to be theologically motivated. What's more important is that all these opinions are thoroughly rejected by the Orthodox community. That's really the angle I was going with this post, it was less textually based and more "Judaism" based.

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    2. @Kefirah - Ok, but Milgrom is no lightweight and he has some good reasons for his opinion. I thought I also posted another comment yesterday - looks like it did not take. It went something like this. My rejection of religions had nothing to do with gay issues. Second - many cultures of non Judaeo-Christian-Islamic religions ALSO discriminate against gays. The issue is metareligious. Third - I am pretty certain other ancient near east cultures discriminated and had severe penalties for homosexuality.

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    3. I agree that Milgrom is not a lightweight, however I also feel justified in saying that I've read the arguments on the matter and I do not find them persuasive! Since I was more focused on how modern religious Judaism deals with the matter, and specifically how the Orthodox communities will handle the issue, I am not too worried about giving due credence to minority scholarly opinions (and yes, Milgrom is in the minority here.)

      As far as the other comment, I did see it. Poor treatment of homosexuality does appear in many other cultures, both those nearby to Judaism and others unrelated to Judaism. I just wasn't sure how relevant it is. I will point out that when dealing with homosexuality in the ancient world, it's important to remember that there was a cultic aspect to it, the "kadeshim" and "kadeishot" that Melachim talks about. So as with any topic, "it's complicated" will have to do for now. This was one reason I didn't want to go into a historical treatment of it. I don't have the research or sources to back it up at the present time.

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  5. The issue of homosexuality played no role at all for my rejection of religions. I think there are many societies which happen to be non Abrahamic based faiths who are also scornful or worse towards gays.

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    1. I'm not sure I am getting your point. That nonreligious societies have been bigoted further supports the argument that when the Torah does as such, it is of human origin and not an all-loving, all-knowing divine source.

      Let me take this opportunity (as no commenting is allowed on your blog) to praise and thank you for your well researched and insightful posts.

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    2. I think what Cocker is saying is, yes, the fact that the Torah discriminates against people and is cruel towards homosexuals (and slaves and women and disabled people...) is of course proof that it isn't a divine document. I think he's adding, and I agree, that homophobia didn't originate as a 'religious' belief or institution but rather a cultural, primitive ANE bias.

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    3. ... and that this bias can be found in non abrahamic and nonreligious cultures as well.

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    4. M Rose - Exactly my point. Some cultures have taken a dim view of gays while others have been more tolerant. There are modern and ancient examples of both. How much of antigay attitude in the Torah is related to 'rejection' of Idol worship which may have incorporated such practices or fertility cult/procreation/holy semen (not to be wasted) and how much is just a bias already extant in some of the ANE is tricky. I probably should write an in depth post about it some day.

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    5. SJA - thanks for compliment. My point is basically what you and M Rose write, but with a complication - what exactly the Torah was intending. Aside from what the Torah really intended. Kefirah is correct - I think Milgorm is a minority opinion and Kefirah is correct about how Rabbinic Judaism and Orthodox Judaism interpret the Torah regarding gays. In their hearts, Orthodox Judaism would (after due warning) like to execute proven blatant unrepentant gays, but like most halacha the Rabbis cant enforce it today.They are waiting for Moshiach to come and have things like in the good ol days. I would tell them not to hold their breath - very very unlikely the Moshiach will ever come. I mean, how many thousands of more years will they wait before they throw in the towel.

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    6. Thank you M Rose and Alter for your detailed replies.
      Early on my path out, I had the thought if the world is many billions year older than 6000 years (or human history 100s of thousands) and Moshiach hasn't come yet that's another disproof of Chazal. Not the biggest deal, compared to all the other problems, in hindsight : )

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  6. Cocker, I look forward to your in-depth post. I hav an ongoing bet with some of my formerly orthodox friends on whether orthodox Jews will be 'throwing in the towel' en masse, or will continue blindly following as they have been doing for centuries. My argument is that the internet access rate among orthodox Jews is rising, and will reach the point where the 'google/facebook/twitter generation' will learn the truth and run. My friends argue that brainwashing and indoctrination is stronger than the internet.

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